


Back to the Wall but Off the Edge

by DestinyFreeReally



Series: 100 Swan Queen Ficlets [7]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, gun mention, gun presence, violence mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 13:56:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6613276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestinyFreeReally/pseuds/DestinyFreeReally
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 4x19, Emma and Regina talk about what happened with Lily, the gun, and their tension.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Back to the Wall but Off the Edge

     Granny's was ghostly quiet, one of the perks of 3 am, Emma thought. She nursed a drink, not her first, and thought about her life. How different things were now. How hard some days were because of her past. What her younger self might think of her. That one made her smile sometimes, but not tonight.   
  
     "I thought I might find you here." The click of Regina's heels smarted against the quiet of the diner.   
  
     "Really? You didn't figure me for an easy runner?" Emma's eyes looked tired, she could really go for a fight tonight.   
  
     "You wouldn't do that to Henry." Regina snapped out and sank down into the seat next to Emma. "You shouldn't do this to yourself." Her eyes fixed on Emma, pleading in quiet compassion.   
  
     "It's just.... it wouldn't have even been that hard... you know? She was someone who was almost a  _friend,_ and because she lied to me, she kept lying, and I never helped her. And now she's back and messed up and it's like... it's like I'm that little girl again, you know? Being lied to and having  _almost_ friends but never sealing the deal. Never making a dent in anyone's lives but to leave sticky, messy residue. It almost wasn't _hard_ to try and keep her away, out of our lives for good." Words slipped from Emma's lips that she'd been biting back for decades and of course here she was unloading on Regina-fucking-Mills. But she didn't feel done.  
  
     "I held that gun in my hands, I let the whole thing get out of control. I let myself get out of control and used the gun as an outlet for revenge against someone who hurt me a lot time ago. What kind of  _hero_ what kind of  _savior_ is  _that."_ What kind of daughter, what kind of mother, Emma's mind kept wondering.  
  
     "Of course it was hard for you, Emma." Regina took a deep breath and just tried to  _process_ for a millisecond. Tried not to feel  _responsible._ "Don't be an idiot. Killing someone, even someone who hurt you, and might've hurt you again, would've been incredibly hard for you, darkness or not." Regina felt her eyes burning, stinging with the  _sorry_ she felt, and didn't feel entitled to. She shook those tears away. "And for what it's worth we're more than  _almost_ friends. And our son loves you because you're his Mother, not because you're the Savior."   
  
     Emma perked up at that, her eyes wet, too.   
  
     "What do you mean? You hold  _infamous_ grudges, Mayor Mills. Are you saying I don't even merit a  _blip_ on your vengeance radar? I chainsawed your-"  
    
     "I  _remember._ " The chill in Regina's voice returned, if only for a second.  "We  _both_ had our fun, don't forget."  
  
     "Oh yeah, you sent me jail like twice a week in the thick of it." A brief smile played on Emma's lips before her heavy thoughts crept back up. "I'm sorry I-"  
  
     "You were protecting your family. And you didn't actually  _do_ anything." Unlike herself, Regina's mind wouldn't let her forget. She could never forget; she'd promised.   
  
     "I shouldn't have let her get to me; shouldn't have let it  _look_ easy, even. And shouldn't have put you in that position."   
     


End file.
